WE the people...

As I read Kenya's harmonised draft constitution, I am reminded of a tenet by a great Indian Scholar and architect of the Indian constitution-Dr Ambedkar-which was plastered on the wall of my university. He said "however good a Constitution may be, it is sure to turn out bad because those who are called to work it, happen to be a bad lot. However bad a Constitution may be, it may turn out to be good if those who are called to work it, happen to be a good lot". I later discovered that it was part of a famous speech he gave defending the Indian Constitution back in 1949. In the speech, he added that "it is, therefore, futile to pass any judgement upon the Constitution without reference to the part which the people and the parties are likely to play".

I recently had the privilege to attend a function where a dignitary stated, off the record, that the current problem was that everyone was looking to the Constitution as a panacea for all of Kenya's ills. I agree with him that it is not. What it is, is an instrument which sets out the fundamental values, principles and goals by which our country should be governed. And it lays the responsibility for upholding those principles not just on our leaders, political or otherwise, but also on "WE, the people"! S. 3 states that every person has an obligation to respect, uphold and defend this Constitution, while s. 24 lists our responsibilities as citizens which include respecting, upholding, defending, understanding and promoting the Constitution.

I wonder if we are up to the task...

As I read through the elements on secularism (s.10) and freedom of religion and belief (s. 49), I can't help but see the irony in beginning the preamble with an acknowledgement of an "Almighty God". Are we then saying that those who do not share this belief are not part of the "we" or are not people? It reminds of the meetings I have attended in the not too distant past which automatically begin with a Christian prayer, one of which had a Muslim guest of honour, who had just broken a fast. Does it show what good Christians we are, or just how insensitive we are to difference and diversity? Recognition of diversity is one of the pillars of this Constitution (s. 13).

When I read the sections on non-discrimination which is essentially a theme that runs through various provisions, and which specifically in s. 37 applies to individuals as well as the State; I am reminded of a number of recent articles spewing vitriolic against gay people. One of them branded gay people as agents of the devil's infiltration into this Christian nation. Again I ask, is it a Christian only nation? And does that render anyone who is different or a non-adherent to Christianity, not part of the 'we' or 'people'?

I read the provisions guaranteeing social security and wonder if those employers out there, even of domestic workers (of which most of us are), consider our employees as deserving of an economic safety net - NSSF will only cost you 10% more. Consumer rights leave me wondering if those greedy (in my experience) shop owners will care about providing me with quality goods and services, and compensation for any loss and injury caused by defects thereof.

Are WE, the people really ready for a new Constitution? And moreover one that requires us to change our mindsets and attitudes towards each other? Does the new non-discrimination provision mean that the next time I go to Java, the waitress will not give my change back to my white guest? Or that I, as a single woman, can have a drink alone in a pub without being considered of ill repute? Are WE, the people, a good lot or a bad lot?

I look at the Constitution of a stable democracy like Botswana. It is fairly basic and not as well elaborated as that of their more illustrious neighbour to the South. Calls from citizens for its review have not been heeded, yet in spite of and despite this, they have succeeded in not making a mess of their country as we have ours. Does it say something about the people and their values and attitudes towards each other, or about their Constitution?

So we have a new Constitution elaborating in over 300 provisions on everything from citizenship to rights to land to governance systems to public service and finance to National Security... So what? Will WE, the people have the courage and wisdom to truly uphold, respect and defend it?

How to catch and keep a cash cow

Sorry sisters, this isn't another of those handy how-to-bag-a-millionaire articles (note the use of the word COW); it's more of a how not to get bagged yourself (which is infinitely more useful). People say that with changing times, women are becoming more independent, earning higher salaries, etc. But I look at certain people of our parents' generation and I know that this is not a modern day phenomenon. It's just a certain type of man!

Now don't get me wrong, I am most certainly not dumping on house husbands. In fact, I would like one myself. The kind of man who is honest about himself and what he is, great with the kids, accountable and diligent with my money, truthful and thoughtful... (no, no, not the Easter Bunny). I would happily feed and clothe him for the rest of my life.

What I certainly can't stand is the lying, cheating, thieving milkers of this world. The guy who pretends to be self-sufficient except you never quite see his money or the effects of it. Instead he wastes a lot of your money on nothingness. They assume a certain standard of living on your tab. They are sweet talkers and love to talk big financially. They pretend to be employed with your hard-earned sweat going towards maintaining this farce. This is the kind of man you need to run away from, far and fast.

They target women who are comfortable and independent, and who are acutely aware of the loud ticking (more like thumping) of their bio clocks. That, coupled with the possibility that they might have finally received that 'blessing' they have been waiting for all their lives in the form of Mr Knight in silvery armour (which he probably bought with your money), makes for the degree of guillability that is just right for the milking leaches to attach and entrench themselves.

If you are lucky, you will discover them under your skin before they have done too much damage to your finances or your sanity.

How to tell if you are a cash cow:

• Your salary which used to be sufficient suddenly does not last till end month: remember one and one make two, not half!
  
• Your savings are depleted on: a. another hair-brained scheme; b. his needy/dying relatives; c. his financial obligations; d. his demanding lifestyle; e. all of the above.
  
• He never gives you breathing room. This is the best way in which he controls the information you receive and ensures he always has the upper hand. Remember, if you feel smothered, you are!
  
• He gives vague responses like "I've taken care of that, honey!"
  
• His stories always have loopholes and you can never really pin him down on any one thing. If you push too hard or ask too many questions, he plays the guilt card and accuses you of lack of trust which is essential for any/your relationship.
  
• You sometimes doubt your own sanity cause you could have sworn....

Some tips for milkers

Do...

• milk her everyday in every sense of the word
• tell her ad nauseum just how beautiful she is and how much you love her
• be worth your salt in the sack or she won't give you the time of day
• propose immediately and get her pregnant as quickly as you can
• be a convincing liar

Don't...

• bring your other girlfriends to the house when she is away/travelling. Work hard to hide your infidelities.Thats the one thing she won't stand for
• eat too much money too soon. Wait until the ring is on her finger before showing your true colours.

Evolving Standards of Decency…??

On my flight back home I couldn't sleep and so I decided to put on some old country music which I hadn't heard in a while... which is probably why I really listened this time round. I was shocked at my realisation that the tunes I familiarly hummed, actually described egregious acts, many of which would incur criminal prosecution in present day.

Lucille is actually about desertion, starvation of children and commercial sex work. Coward of the County talks about rape, assault, grievous bodily harm, and extols the need for violence. The Gambler is on addiction and alcoholism.

I had to wonder if I'd let my kids listen to this music. I mean I delete rap music off my podpod for far fewer offences... like the continued reference to a female dog. And then I had another thought... would I be so trigger happy on the delete button if they used the "female dog" euphemism instead of the more graphic b*tch? Though one must admit that the tunes would not be quite as catchy with: "...yo! yo! female dog..."

Then I had to question my commitment to free speech and expression. Music has always been a means with which to express things that mere words did not do justice to. It has been a means by which to reflect the realities of society.

I look at the list above and I think that the reason why the words come easily to me is because the actions are still very present in the world around me today. Little has changed for the better since Kenny Rodgers took us down that road... so much for the myth of evolving standards of decency!!

Najivunia Kuwa Mkenya...

Oops! I think I missed my cue. That's the part when I was supposed to stand up and be counted wearing my biggest best smile, my Kenya t-shirt and patriotically waving a Kenyan flag... Right?! Right after I finish with the immigration official who's looking at my passport under a purple flourescent light. Good Lord! As if I don't already get enough of that nonsense when I get to Europe.

Out of necessity I bear the humiliation of being treated like a criminal before I've committed any crime in those other lands, but back home?? By my own??

I think these immigration officials have amnesia about where their bread is buttered. Last I checked, I was the one paying taxes... Blueband galore! Unless of course, there has since been an arrangement I don't know about (which wouldn't be news for Kenya) where the Europeans are making a special contribution to immigration officials salaries. If not then they should spare me the indignity while I am still on home soil to gather my strength for the tons I'll be facing out there.

...and before I can jivunia again, let me first finish filling my Kenyan landing card. I am still trying to figure out what I should put under "reason for entry" - home? Life? The day I'll stop having to give reasons for coming home, will be the day I start believing that I can be anything more than a third class citizen in my own country.

My name is Achieng…

So this is me standing before the gathered AA-type group confessing to my addiction: “Hi everyone, my name is Achieng and I am a workaholic”. How else can I explain the flow of relief and delight when I finally opened my e-mails today after nearly a month of post-op recovery. No, I’m not out of the woods yet, but checking my mails made me feel like a million dollars, like I could conquer the world (or just Israel will do for now).

I did the customary head-titled-backhand-on-forehead sign of agony while saying, “oh my gosh, 400 unread emails”, while I waited for the page to load. Meanwhile, I was doing the subconscious somebody-missed-me-while-I-was-gone jig. I then mentally embraced each e-mail like a long lost friend. The so-slow-it-could-be-moving-backwards dial-up connection did not allow me to do much more than read a few select e-mails before bumping me off, but I am entirely grateful for those few precious moments back in the world of intellectual thought.

Just this morning I tear-illy confessed to my mum just how much I was missing it all… being there, being part of it… wait a sec! Am I actually talking about work? Now that I think about it, could be I’m just suffering from too much bad tv!!

Nabbed by my Underwire

Once again, my underwire was the cause for mass attention and embarrassment. For the uninitiated, underwire is the metal thingamajig on the lower part of the bra that props "them" up against gravities extra special pull. The choice in bras my size is really between satiny lacy underwires and crisscross grannies - I tried the grannies for a while cause I just hated the way the wire starts to poke out after a while right into your side, but then vanity took over.

Now I am back to hating underwires but for entirely new reasons - the attention me and "them" get at airports. Addis in particular. They set their human scanners so high that my underwire sets them off. First time it happened, I frustratingly walked back and forth through the scanner several times stripping down to less and less - my jacket, my belt, my shoes, my bracelet, my watch, my earrings, my ring, even my spectacles - with security officials looking increasingly suspicious. Finally after it became rather evident that I couldn't very well strip down much more in public, they applied the hand held scanner to me which beeped furiously at my bust. So I had all the security officials and passengers staring at "them". Poor girls couldn't duck or shrivel with the all the attention - at least not with underwire in place. I calmly bore the humiliation of having the security officer grope my chest trying to figure out the cause of my beeping.

This time I preempted the inevitable by loudly announcing that it was my bra that was the cause of my beeping and that they should just get on with the hand held scanner biznez. This at least had the effect of having people turn away in embarrassment and unable to witness the grope. But I still wasn't saved the stripping rigmarole. I guess it would otherwise be quite boring to be a security officer at Addis airport or any airport for that matter. Hmmm... I wonder if voyeuristic tendencies is one of the qualifying traits for getting that job?!

ICC IS PLASTER NOT PANACEA

I keep hearing people say “wakikataa, tutawapeleka kwa ICC” [if they refuse, we will take them to the ICC]. The International Criminal Court or ICC has become in Kenya, the symbol of the daddy you go to when mummy doesn’t take action against the errant brother. I think we Kenyans need to be more realistic about our options and expectations.

Let’s for one moment take stock of this ICC that we are so keen to peg our entire Country’s history and future on. After ten years of existence and several millions of dollars, the five year old (in service) prosecutor has brought one case to Court which ended up being bungled. There are only four situations under investigation and one still in waiting, interestingly enough, all in Africa, i.e:

• Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC)
• Darfur, Sudan
• Northern Uganda
• Central African Republic (CAR), and
• Côte d’Ivoire

DRC was the site of the bungled case. Need I say more? Despite the situation in Sudan having being referred to the ICC in March 2005, more than three (3) years later, the ICC still has not managed to even arrest the persons they have charged, and continue to be denounced by the Government of Sudan as “absolutely nonsensical” and portraying “moral and professional bankruptcy”. A situation not helped by the probably ill-advised indictment of the Sudanese president. In Northern Uganda, the arrest warrants against three members of the LRA are all that stand between communities which have been facing two decades of conflict and their ability to leave the poverty and wretchedness of the squalid camps they have been living in and return home. And even if you might be tempted to argue that justice needed to be done in order to curb impunity, you would have to seriously rethink your notions of justice, particularly if you were the one explaining to the communities, why the UPDF (government army) isn’t receiving its fair share of arrest warrants. The official ICC position is that the crimes committed by the UPDF do not meet “the stringent gravity test” which is needed to ensure that the ICC only goes after the most serious of criminals.

CAR referred a case to the ICC in April 2006, but it was not until May 2007 that the ICC decided to open an investigation there. Côte d’Ivoire, despite having accepted the jurisdiction of the Court in April 2003 over violence which erupted in the Country in the politically instigated conflict in 2002, is still waiting for the ICC to make a pronouncement. The ICC is yet to send an assessment team on whose report the prosecutor would then make a decision about whether or not to initiate an investigation.

So then, where does that leave us? I will repeat - we Kenyans need to be more realistic about our options and expectations. Even if the ICC does take up our mantle, the ICC is merely a plaster, band-aid! It is not a panacea. It will not solve any of the problems that got us here in the first place. Yes, there were lots of bad things that happened to mostly good people just trying to get by, and there needs to be a reckoning. I believe that it was opportunists making worse of an already bad situation. For that, they most certainly need to be held to account, but at what cost and to whom?

I am not purporting to have any answers or solutions. But I am cautioning against the perception of a one stop shop solution. There will have to be a lot of give and take, compromises made and hard choices. Which is why we wananchi need to take back the power and change the discourse which has now become about politicians. This is not about them, it is about us. Whatever decisions are made, we are the ones going to have to live with the consequences. An expensive special tribunal, a plush 5-star cell in the Hague, an encounter in Kamiti or a stay on prosecution, will hit us hard in our already stretched pockets (diverted revenue) or our appeased or outraged senses of justice. There are still many victims of the violence that continue to be re-victimised over and over again. They should be the ones deciding what is most important to them. Politicians are not the ones who should be holding talks, wananchi are!